A Letter to My Firstborn on Becoming a Big Brother


Heather Neal's website is sideofsneakers.com. Follow her on FacebookTwitterInstagram, and Pinterest.


A Letter to My Firstborn on Becoming a Big Brother was originally published on Babble.com and has been reprinted with permission.

My Dearest Firstborn,

As I’m sitting here in the hallway, waiting for you to fall asleep, I can’t help but think about how much your little world is about to change.

I just finished reading you three-and-a-half bedtime stories, curled up and snuggled by your side to soak up a few last minutes of our day before tucking you in and smothering you in goodnight kisses. I had gone back in for your last-minute nighttime requests and a chance to steal an extra kiss, and now I’m waiting outside your door because you don’t like to be alone before you fall asleep.

We’ve spent a lot of time together — just the two of us — in the last three-and-a-half years. Your daddy travels a lot for work, meaning you and I are often each other’s best buddies during the week.

We make a great team; the perfect duo. You keep me laughing and on my toes all day long. We have so much fun together — riding bikes, exploring streams, and making lots of messes in the kitchen. I love the days we spend together more than I ever knew I could, and I love you kiddo, more than I ever knew was humanly possibly.

But here’s the thing: in a few months, it’s not going to be just us anymore.

We’ll be bringing your new baby brother or sister into our family, and because of that, things are going to change. I’m predicting they’ll all be changes for the better, but any change is an adjustment and there are a few things I want you to know before that happens.

I know you will make a fantastic big brother — you are so excited about bringing your baby home and loving on him/her. I know you will teach your sibling wonderful things (and probably a few not-so-wonderful things) along the way. You are so sweet and nurturing — your brother/sister will be lucky to have you there loving and snuggling and looking after him/her.

Back to those changes I mentioned – while it won’t just be you and me and Daddy anymore, our love for you will never, ever fade. It won’t be diluted because we’re adding another heart into the mix; it will be multiplied over and over.

I want you to know that no matter how much attention the new baby gets, you are still the center of my world. I may get interrupted from our nightly snuggle time by the cry of a baby who needs me, but it won’t mean I don’t treasure each of those moments just as much.

We may need to squish over a little more in bed in the morning to make room for the baby, but I want you there just as much as always. We may have to change our plans or our schedule to squeeze in naps or meals for the new baby, but it will never mean the baby is more important than you. My arms may not always be open and ready to catch you, but know I’m still there for you.

No matter how big you get and how old you grow, you will always be our baby. You are our firstborn and have taught your Daddy and I so much about the world, about life, and about love. Nothing (and no one) will ever be able to take that away, and I know you will continue to teach us and amaze us and just keep forcing our hearts to grow and grow as you learn and do so much more.

I want you to know that if having a new baby in the house makes me busy or exhausted or frustrated, I will still always want to be there for you. I want to hear about your day and your dreams and your fears. No matter how tired or preoccupied I may act, I will always want to know what the best part of your day was, what you ate for lunch, and who your Best Friend of the Day is.

Even if there’s a baby nursing in my arms, I will still want my endless daily quota of hugs and kisses and snuggles. If I tell you “no” too often or snap too easily or too loudly, I want you to know that it doesn’t mean that I’m mad at you or the baby is more important.

I want you to know that I’m going to mess up — probably a lot. But I’m going to try my absolute best and hope that you’ll forgive me when I do make mistakes.

When we get excited about new things the baby is doing, know that we were just as excited when you did each of those things: your first sound, your first smile, your first steps. And I’ll continue to be as excited and amazed at all of the firsts you’ll keep on having: your first soccer game, your first time across the monkey bars, your first day of kindergarten.

You’ll probably just miss seeing my excitement because you’re off doing such wonderful things. You’ll probably roll your eyes at this (an act you’ve already perfected), but your Daddy and I have spent countless hours oohing and ahhing over every single thing about you from the very minute we met you: your thick eyelashes, your rosy cheeks. We are constantly amazed by you and that will never, ever change.

You will always have such a special place in my heart and I can’t imagine a single second of my day without you in it; I’m so proud of you and am just as excited about seeing you become a big brother as I am about meeting your new sibling.

You’re getting to be such a big boy now and you understand so many grown up things; I hope you understand, too, that though your Mommy will be loving on another baby, she’ll never stop loving on you.

All my love,



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