Guest Post: How To Raise Clear, Confident & Kind Girls

Raising a Girl  

A blog entry from Twigtale's co-founder Carrie Southworth

Raising two daughters, in L.A., in the 21st century?  Terrifying. I jumped at the chance to attend Tandy Parks's  class on "Raising a Girl."  She had awesome suggestions on how to raise "clear, confident and kind" girls. Below are three of my favorite take-aways.

1) Focus on the Internal, Not External

One suggestion Tandy had to help our daughters cope with modern society's obsession with aesthetics is to avoid focusing on their looks.  Instead, focus on something from within.  Instead of saying "you look pretty in that dress," try saying "oh, you look happy in that dress." It will help your daughter learn to find pride in who she is, not what she looks like.

2) Celebrate Your Daughter's Emotions - ALL OF THEM!  

Help them learn it is ok to be angry and assertive!  Tandy suggests that the "mean girls" phenomena is likely a result of parents telling their daughters to "be nice" and "good little girls."  These statements teach girls to internalize their anger.  We need to teach our daughters how to openly, and appropriately express their emotions, which will lead to more confident girls with better conflict negotiation skills.

3) Activity and movement is key!

We need to encourage our daughters to move their bodies, so they ultimately have confidence in their physical skills, develop assertiveness and learn to take appropriate physical risks.  Helping your daughter find confidence in her physicality is a great way to combat society's unhealthy image of beauty and sexuality.

Tandy Parks, MPH is a parent educator in Santa Monica.  She hosts multiple discussion groups for parents every month.  She also is available for individual consultation:


Guest Post: How To Raise Clear, Confident & Kind Girls was originally published on February 19, 2014. Modifications to style, arrangement, and linked sources were made on January 5, 2016.